Amber Rudd types with one finger and uses Myspace

01-08-17

HOME secretary Amber Rudd does all her typing with one finger and has a Myspace account, it has emerged.

Rudd, who is in charge fighting online extremism, takes around an hour to compose a three-line email, according to insiders.

One adviser said: “It’s like watching Bambi learn to walk – you desperately want to step in and help, but it’s the only way she’ll learn.

“I spent 90 minutes showing her how to attach a document to an email yesterday, and she still managed to send a blank page to the whole office.”

They added: “She somehow fucks up the formatting on anything she touches. And I’m not even going to go into the carnage she’s caused with accidental reply-alls. We’ve had some really terrifying days over here.”

Other staff members complained that they have to explain faked Photoshop images to Rudd on a regular basis, and that she still has the keyboard tones on her flip phone turned on.

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