Boat just so pissed off

A POLAR research vessel has admitted it is both disappointed and angry to not be called Boaty McBoatface. 

The £200m vessel, which will now be called the RSS Sir David Attenborough, is worried the British people will think it does not have a sense of humour.

Speaking from the Liverpool dockyard where it is being constructed, it said: “I thought Boaty McBoatface was hilarious, you know? A real breath of fresh air.

“All the other guys on the Arctic beat are like Oceania or Polar Star, so the minute I sail in I’m the party boat. Like ‘Hey, who wants to go do shots on Boaty McBoatface?’

“Instead I’m named after some boring old bastard. I don’t know who David Attenborough is, but I do know this: he’s an enemy of democracy and he hates the British people.

“Secretly I’ll always be Boaty McBoatface. In my heart.”

Polar researcher Dr Helen Archer said: “What the British public don’t perhaps realise is that our jobs are lonely, difficult and dangerous.

“Nobody wants to die on a ship called Boaty McBoatface.”