Cath Kidston unveils nuclear war-themed collection

DESIGNER Cath Kidston’s winter collection merges rustic chic with nuclear war imagery.

The gas mask is so versatile, it goes with literally anything

In the surprisingly bleak ‘Nuclear Winter’ collection, Kidston’s trademark ‘rose’ print will be replaced by a pattern of grotesquely mutated embryos with single bulging eyes and lumpy, protruding foreheads.

Cath Kidston said: “While pottering around the bucolic splendour of my Cotswolds home, I came to contemplate the extinction of human life in a sea of atomic fire.

“Recent world events suggest that as far as nuclear destruction goes, it’s not ‘when’ but ‘if’.

“I’ve reflected this sense of unavoidable doom in a series of effortlessly feminine mutant fetus-patterned dresses, mushroom cloud tablecloths and radiation-proof ‘forever bags’.”

Kidston’s high street stores will be remodelled to reflect the aftermath of a nuclear strike, with shattered windows, charred human remains and members of staff on fire.

Middle-aged woman Emma Bradford said: “At first I was a bit shocked, but the tiny screaming faces are done in such a way they actually look very pretty.

“I shall be wearing my mutant fetus dress to a spa pamper day this weekend.”