Face Transplant Man Warned Against Over-Confidence

FRIENDS of face transplant man Tom Logan last night warned that his plans for a massive sex binge may be a tad optimistic.

Start with something a little more realistic

The 36-year-old was given a new face after losing his old one to a badger and his friends have been overwhelmingly reassuring about his new look.

However, they are now concerned they may have overdone it after Logan began bragging about how much ‘fanny’ he intends to ‘nail’.

Logan said: “I am the face transplant stallion and I can’t wait to start transplanting this face into some top quality vaginas.

“When I walk into the room, the honeys are gonna be like, ‘is that Pierce Brosnan?’. From now on, my life is going to be one massive Lynx advert.”

He added: “Don’t forget your crutches girls – I am in the zone.”

But Logan’s best friend, Roy Hobbs, said: “We’ve all tried our best to be supportive. It’s a bit like when a woman gets a haircut that looks odd and then everyone acts kind of over-enthusiastic about it, saying things like ‘it really suits you’, and ‘wow’ and ‘it’s really modern, isn’t it?

“Unfortunately it’s gone to his head and he’s started to act like a bit of a prick. I’m worried he might be in for a bit of a rude awakening when we all go out to Club Fifth Avenue on Friday.

“Maybe I should say something. I dunno, it’s awkward”‘

Logan’s ex-girlfriend, Nikki Hollis, added: “In fairness, he has now got a face. But then so has William Hague but that doesn’t mean I’d want his saliva on my thigh.

“I suspect Tom’s going to have learn to be an incredibly good listener.”