Fathers pretend to want internet porn ban

15-05-12

A PROPOSED new service to block internet porn has met with fake enthusiasm from fathers.

They cannot hide their disgust

The service, ostensibly favoured by thousands of hollow-­eyed middle-aged men with hugely overdeveloped forearms, would mean that parents have to ‘opt-­in’ to internet pornography.

Parent Tom Booker said: “This can’t happen a moment too soon. It’s horrific to think that children could get access to the sort of filth that I regularly fizz up a spunk shandy to.

“Sorry I meant ‘research in my capacity as a concerned parent and moral guardian’.

“Youngsters definitely need to be protected from Latino MILF gangbangs and that Estonian cam girl with the green eyes who has no boundaries.”

However, the opt-in scheme was not welcomed by all.

Committed masturbator and father-of-three Stephen Malley said: “This is just do-gooders interfering with our human rights. Most specifically, the right to watch depraved filth.

“Of course there’s nothing more important to me than my kids.

“But depraved filth comes a close second.”

Mother Nikki Hollis said: “Pornography can be incredibly damaging, especially to vulnerable adult males like my husband.

“It’s hard to respect a man you’ve caught in the spare room ‘just looking at Autotrader’ while naked from the waist down.”

 

 

  • Share:

  • turkey_inside