Google Launches Collaborative Self-Pleasuring Tool
SEARCH engine giant Google has opened trials of GoogleFrot, a new application designed to create a global network of simultaneous groin-rubbing.
The move comes in response to demands from internet users for a tool that can co-ordinate their furtive, office-based onanism via communalised smut viewing.
A spokesman said: "Self-pollution has always had the capacity to inspire network applications that enable users to share the experience of rubbing themselves very hard under their desk until they go 'boing'.
"We like to think of it as World of Warcraft meets the biscuit game."
Among GoogleFrot's functionalities will be the capacity to drag pornographic film stars between documents.
The spokesman added: "If you have Tera Patrick in a jacuzzi in one window, you can click and drag Brianna Banks, Belladonna, or even Bernard Bresslaw, and they'll all start going at it like minks. It's very clever.
"In this mesmerising new landscape of networked groins, you are limited only by the limits of human physiology and your own fevered imagination."
Designers say GoogleFrot will also give auto-pleasurers some of their self-esteem back by making them feel they are riding the technological zeitgeist rather than just behaving like a caged chimpanzee with a wireless mouse.
Julian Cook, a GoogleFrot beta-tester from Grantham, said: "My avatar is 'Toucheemonkee' and my special power is the ability to clean myself up without any of my colleagues suspecting a thing."