Is It Time To Use Stem Cells For Practical Jokes?


THE medical profession faces a new ethical dilemma after scientists raised the prospect of stem cells being used for tomfoolery and high-jinks.

Is it morally wrong to graft a rubber chicken to a drunk man's chin?

After the successful transplant of a windpipe, engineered through a combination of a donor organ and the patient's own cells, doctors believe they will soon be able to transplant a windpipe that farts.

Dr Bill McKay, head of ethics at the British Medical Association, said: "It's basically the same technique, so we know we can do it. The only question is – should we?"

Dr McKay said the applications for prank-based stem cell technology were limitless including gigantic monkey hands, a 25ft electric tongue and a concept he refers to as 'Professor Octopus'.

He added: "Curing cancer and replacing diseased organs is all good stuff, but wouldn't it be brilliant for stag nights?

"You could whip-off the groom's genitals and replace them with an angle-poise lamp safe in the knowledge that it wouldn't be rejected. He'd have to walk around like that for hours.

"The joke could even be turned around on the medical profession and you could have some random bloke arriving at A&E with a 26-inch plasma screen lodged inside his genetically enlarged rectum.

"The on-call doctor's face would be an absolute picture."

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