Millionth Word Will Be Euphemism For Penis, Say Experts

THE millionth word to enter the English language will simply be another term for cock, experts confirmed last night.

There's a 68% chance it will be some sort of 'pump'

According to the Institute for Studies the chances of the millionth word not being a graphic description of the male sex organ were so remote as to be not worth calculating.

Institute director Professor Henry Brubaker said: "To be counted, a word must be used 25,000 times in print and online, so if Gordon Ramsay decided to use a new word like 'gutfister' to bawl his staff out, it would enter the language in about a week.

"But the fact remains that more than 70% of all neologisms in the past 30 years have been some new way of describing your pink hairy piss nozzle."

Recent entries leading up to the million mark are 'spunkpump' (penis), 'meatsock' (penis) 'boylejocking' (berating talent show judges in an impenetrable accent) and 'spoojflute' (penis).

Professor Brubaker added: "Our vocabulary is typically formed in our late teens when we're at university with nothing better to do so naturally conversation turns to inventing new words for your cock and balls.

"Meanwhile, social networking sites are helping to spread new words across the globe very rapidly, so a child in Mumbai may already be calling his knackers his 'sweaty judelaws' without even knowing its derivation."

The Institute has tracked the origin of 'meatsock' to an internet discussion on Gordon Brown, where 'StevieB1827' wrote: "Anyone who trusts that boss-eyed fraud can suck my meatsock while my pair of sweaty judelaws bang rhythmically off their chin."