O2 chaos as labrador dies in its wheel


THE O2 network collapsed over the weekend following the death of the labrador that powers its central hub.

Sparky 2004-2012

Sparky, the company’s core dog, expired on Saturday after eight solid years of running inside a giant drum with an O2 employee holding a boiled pig’s ear just out of its reach.

As the network collapsed, representatives rushed to find a dog breeder that was willing to take O2 gift vouchers instead of cash.

Meanwhile customers received the message, “Technical Error: Labrador Malfootedness.”

An O2 spokesman said: “Media reports of widespread anger have been exaggerated. In fact not a single customer called or texted to complain.”

But services were disrupted again on Sunday when the replacement labrador slipped on a puddle of Sparky’s sweat, leaving the animal careering around inside the rapidly-spinning drum, barking in terror.

O2 customer Tom Logan said: “It’s beyond ridiculous. Labradors are clumsy, and notorious for heart problems.

“A husky would have been a much better choice, they’re agile and energy-efficient, you can run one for six months on a single bucket of blubber.”

A similar problem hit the T Mobile network in 2009, when one of the turtles harnessed to its underwater centrifuge lost a flipper.



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