Police set up fantasy avatar squad

23-05-13

POLICE have set up an avatar unit to tackle crime in online role-playing games.

Have you seen this shield?

Have you seen this shield?

The unit was established following an arrest for credit theft in the fantasy game RuneScape. It is run from a virtual police station in a ‘haunted forest’, by officers pretending to be elves.

Detective inspector Tom Logan aka Vandar Woodwalker of Shantar said: “Initially I thought this was a waste of time but now I’m fully immersed I can’t distinguish between fantasy crime and real crime.

“What shocked me most was the casual nature of violent crime in internet role-playing games.

“RuneScape players think nothing of smiting each other with maces and magic warhammers.

“Part of our role will be to discourage battles and encourage players to pursue lawful activities such as fletching and potion-making.”

One of Logan’s officers recently required counselling after being labelled a “fucking noob douchebag” for halting a major conflict in World of Tanks.

Officer Stephen Malley, known online as Meril the Dwarf-Trader said: “I got into this job because I wanted to be like The Sweeney.

“If all this gets out I’m never getting to have sex again.”

The Avatar Unit is currently appealing for information on the theft of a magical shield that can turn its owner invisible.

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