Scientists believe reality is a dream in racist nan’s mind

21-11-16

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OUR reality is just a dream in the mind of a nan who doesn’t like foreigners, it has been claimed.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies were trying to find a rational explanation for why everything is going insane when they hit upon the ‘Nan-Mind’ theory.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “It’s like the Matrix, except instead of intelligent machines creating our reality it’s a nan.

“Basically the nan, who lives in another dimension and is quite racist, is asleep after a drinking massive mug of Horlick’s and watching the snooker for four hours, and we are all living in her dream.”

Professor Brubaker believes the theory explains everything from Trump, Brexit and Marin Le Pen to hipsters.

He said: “Nans want everything to be like it was just after the war, which is why we’re seeing young men with braces and Brylcreem in their hair.

“The Nan-Mind theory also explains the popularity of gin and knitting.”

However 91-year-old nan Mary Fisher said: “If this was all my dream, things would be much more racist and you would still get bags of hard little sweets called ‘Imps’ for 3p.”

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