We fly in a ‘V’ because it looks brilliant, say birds

16-01-14

geese

BIRDS have revealed they fly in a V-formation because it looks ‘classy’.

Scientists claimed the shape was caused by maximising ‘lift’ from the bird in front, but birds said they just like to pretend they are in the Red Arrows.

Martin Bishop, a goose, said: “We could fly in a circle if we wanted to. Circles are a doddle, but it would look weird. Like a massive, floating hole.

“The V-shape is what we geese call a ‘design classic’. It’s simple and beautiful but it’s also a dynamic statement of intent. It screams ‘progress!’.”

Bishop added: “When you’re flying in ‘the V’ you feel like a goddamn master of the universe. I’ve done it maybe a hundred times and every time I do it I look over at my mate Brian and shout ‘this is totally brilliant, we’re so cool’.”

Bishop’s friend, Brian Stevens, said: “What I don’t understand is why humans shoot at us. Would you shoot at the Red Arrows?

“No, you bloody wouldn’t.”

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