Wind Turbine Damage 'May Not Have Been Aliens'
DAMAGE to a Lincolnshire wind farm turbine may not have been caused by aliens, experts claimed last night.
Police insist the most likely explanation for the damage to the 300-ft turbine is a high speed crash involving an extra-terrestrial spacecraft.
One of the blades was badly dented and another disappeared, as is often the case in alien-windfarm collisions.
Inspector Tom Logan said: "What seems to have happened is an alien being has travelled millions of light years across space from a planet we have never heard of, using technology we can only dream about, and then collided with a windfarm in Conisholme.
"I've said it before – these alien craft are designed for high-speed intergalactic travel. They do not handle well in the Earth's atmosphere, mainly due to our fluctuating magnetic fields.
"The aliens need to slow down or preferably use a different mode of transport once they arrive on Earth. There's an excellent bus service between Mablethorpe and Market Rasen."
Although police consider aliens the most likely explanation they are not ruling out other lines of enquiry, including giant wasps or a massive urang utan.
Local villagers have also reported gangs of angry voles with ladders, while nearby farmyards are being checked for cow catapults.
However, Julian Cook, professor of physics at Cambridge University, said: "How many times do we have to tell you? Do not talk to people from Lincolnshire."