Yes, it does do telly, weary Sony tells UK

27-04-11

ELECTRONICS giant Sony has grudgingly responded to the British public’s single question about its sophisticated new tablet computer.

Compatible with both the skating and the dancing

Sony’s highly advanced new S1 machine uses Google’s Android 3.0 operating system alongside impressive technical specifications including state-of-the-art core technology that allows it to decode 1080p h264 content.

But the corporation held a special UK press conference last night to confirm the only attribute of the device that really matters to the British people.

A spokesman said: “In response to the thousands of emails, letters and burger wrappers with crayon writing on them that we have received from the United Kingdom, I am forced to confirm that this cutting-edge machine, which was years in development with some of the finest minds our industry has ever seen, does do telly.

“For clarity’s sake, this includes the dancing. And the skating.

“And, yes, also the boobies.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I just have to go and kill myself.”

British citizen Tom Logan said: “I think he say it do telly. But me not sure. He say other long words too, make head hurt.

“Do not get me wrong. Me want thing. It shiny. But what if me buy then it no do telly?

“Then me angry, smash shop with stick.”

UK-based technology journalist Emma Bradford said: “It’s terribly depressing that whenever a potentially revolutionary piece of technology hits the market, we as a nation simply grunt, ‘do it do telly’?

“The question we should be asking is ‘do it do telly better than other thing?’.”

 

 

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