34-year-old man enjoys final day of non-creepy flirting

12-09-17

A MAN in his mid-thirties is enjoying his final day of flirting without it just being creepy.

Barista Tom Logan, who is 35 tomorrow, plans to spend today making mildly flirtatious small talk with attractive female customers.

He said: “Tomorrow I will be an old man, and my flirty chit-chat will seem at best pathetic, and at worst mildly menacing.

“I’ll be a middle-aged man and if I give anyone free chocolate sprinkles they’ll either punch me in the face or tell their boyfriend what I did so that he can punch me in the face.”

From tomorrow, single Logan must start being polite but not overly friendly to women: “I’m definitely not going to compliment anyone’s umbrella or say they look a bit like a famous person. They’ll think I’m lonely or a perv.

“Hopefully I’ll meet a girlfriend in the normal, non-creepy way of swiping my greasy finger across their photo on a screen to confirm that I find them sexually attractive.”

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