65% of UK population has been on Come Dine With Me

ALMOST two-thirds of British people have appeared on Channel 4’s Come Dine With Me, it has emerged.

The asparagus tasted 'like cock'

According to new research by the Institute for Studies, the entire UK population will have participated in the show by 2018, making it the most complete survey of British society since the Domesday Book.

The show sends four stereotypes to each other’s houses for bad food, booze and backbiting, while a man’s voice takes the piss out of them.

Historian Tom Logan said: “Never have so many people, from the very bottom of the social ladder to just under halfway up, had their lives so thoroughly documented.

“Future generations will know what we ate, what we drank, how pathetically desperate we were for a shag and exactly what constituted ‘a good laugh’.

“By viewing Come Dine With Me they will be able to judge us and despise us just as we despise ourselves.”

Come Dine With Me, which screens eight hour-long new episodes every day, is now the country’s sixth-biggest industry.

More than 22,000 interns are employed to deliver menus to contestants pretending to be at their place of work each lunchtime, and drivers are advised to avoid the 11pm rush hour when Britain’s roads are jammed with taxis full of drunken, costumed backstabbers.

Researchers analysing the data provided by 40 million Come Dine With Me contestants now believe the UK is composed of four personality types: flamboyant gay man, overweight obsessive-compulsive gourmet, weirdo loner and middle-aged tart.