88% of 'trolls' actually just morons

13-06-12

MOST people assumed to be internet trolls genuinely believe their hateful, demented statements, it has been claimed.

Many people who look like trolls are simply weird

Researchers at the Institute for Studies interviewed alleged ‘trolls’ and found that their postings were not deliberately antagonistic, but that they actually believed that all Youtube users are gay, the ‘EUSSR’ is a political entity and Kate McCann is a prostitute.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “It’s easy to assume that someone is trolling when they make an implausible-sounding hateful statement, for example that albinos caused the banking crisis.

“But statistically it’s more likely they believe that melanin-deprived people snuck into the Bank of England and took all the money to buy sunglasses.

“So maybe the world is less of a hateful place than we thought, but more of a moronic one.”

Alleged troll Wayne Hayes said: “When I repeatedly post comments saying that the 2.4% Muslim population of the UK is planning to take over, I am not making a rhetorical point.

“I do actually think that Mr Ishani from the shop down the road will one day cut my hands off and feed them to his cat.

“Similarly, although we have a Conservative-led coalition government, I am certain that a cabal of Islington ‘Guardianistas’ led by Polly Toynbee runs the UK, in between drinking champagne and doing lesbianism.”

Housewife Carolyn Ryan said: “When I went on a cancer victim’s Facebook memorial page and accused her of being a paedophile, that was based on hard empirical research, namely seeing her touching up a kiddie in Asda.

“Or maybe that was her husband who is quite short, thinking back the child did have a beard and a bald patch.”

 

 

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