A MAN who claims he has been ignored by politicians is actually a lazy dipshit who just likes complaining, it has emerged.
Retail worker Martin Bishop superficially appears to have a legitimate grievance, but in reality is an ignorant sod who makes things up so he can rant about them.
Co-worker Tom Logan said: “Martin says politicians never listen to people like him, but that might be a good thing because he talks shit, like today when he said Britain is 85 per cent Muslim now.
“Once I asked if he’d ever tried contacting our local MP. He said there wasn’t any point because they’re too busy shagging high-class prostitutes in their ivory tower, which he thinks is an actual building.
“Also our MP is a 62-year-old former union rep called Sandra who holds a weekly surgery at the civic centre and campaigns for better disabled access, so I can’t really picture that somehow.
“I’d take Martin’s opinions about politicians more seriously if he wasn’t so badly informed about everything else, but this is a guy who thinks humans ‘defeated’ the dinosaurs.”
Bishop said: “Politicians think ordinary people like me are idiots, but what d’you expect when it’s all about who you bummed at Oxbridge?
“I could teach them a thing or two about the real world, like how to complete Call of Duty on Veteran mode.”
