Annoying parents still going to use local café as a crèche


LETTING café staff run around after our kids is a perfectly acceptable form of childcare, say arsehole parents.

Supervised by the world

Supervised by the world

The self-centred dickbags said they will be unaffected by government childcare reforms as they already have it sorted for free.

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “Café childcare is very much the way forward, my friends and I just roll up with our kids and let them get on with it.

“Working isn’t a problem, we can bring our laptops and happily sit there organising corporate events or whatever the fuck it is we do, while the world revolves around us.

“It’s basically the same as a normal crèche in that there are lots of low-paid people in polo shirts running round after our kids, trying to stop them eating poison.

“My children are incredible.”

Government childcare vouchers will be available for couples that collectively earn up to £300,000, leaving many wondering who exactly earns that sort of money.

Plumber Tom Logan said: “My concern is for those earning fractionally over that threshold.

“It seems very unfair on working parents earning, for example,  £301,000 who could be left struggling to pay for life’s essentials.”

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