Are you a twat?

24-10-12

LAST FLIGHT OF THE CONCORDE FROM JFK TO LONDON HEATHROW AIRPORT - 24 OCT 2003

Simply answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to each of the following questions to discover whether you are a twat.

The Institute for Studies’ Twat Test

1. Have you ever kissed your own bicep?

2. Do you know the names of two or more luxury jam brands?

3. Are you in favour of Clarkson?

4. When arriving by car to collect a friend, do you simply pull up in the middle of the road and honk your horn until they emerge?

5. Have you ever registered a Twitter account in the name of a celebrity’s pet?

6. Do you regularly use the word ‘lifestyle’?

7. Do you consider yourself more knowledgeable about wine than others in your peer group?

8. Would you describe yourself as having a ‘packed schedule’?

9. Do you work in television?

10. Have you already planned your costume for next year’s Bestival?

11. Have you ever been described as ‘excitable’?

12. Can you juggle, or do you think juggling is good?

OK – Am I a twat?

6-12 yeses: You are a twat. Congratulations! Not really, you’re dreadful.

5-1 yeses: You a borderline twat, standing at the crossroads of twatdom. It’s up to you.

0 yeses: You are not a twat. Well done. Unfortunately you will never make any money and are doomed to live in a perpetual state of frustration.

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