Both members of couple think they are the hot one

A MAN and a woman both consider themselves the good-looking one in their relationship.

Tom Booker and Emma Bradford both appreciate the other’s wonderful personality, while remaining quietly confident they are physically superior.

Booker said: “She has a fantastic sense of humour. Once you get to know her you soon forget all about the haircut and the clothes.

“When people meet us I can tell they sometimes think ‘that dude is good-looking but he’s punching a little below his weight’. But it’d punch them for saying that, even though it is fundamentally true.”

Emma Bradford said: “When we met I thought ‘You’re actually a bit worse than your profile picture’. He had slightly greasy hair and thin arms like a schoolgirl.

“But I liked him and encouraged him to buy nicer clothes so that people wouldn’t think I was his carer.”

However Booker added: “I think going out with another hot person would be boring, we’d just be too similar. With Emma I get to see the world from a normal-looking person’s perspective.

“Probably don’t tell her I said that though.”

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YOU’VE paid into the system your whole life, and now you’re expecting to claim benefits. But do you deserve to, or are you workshy freeloader scum?

Choose one of the following that is closest to your situation:

1. After four decades in the building industry, you have been diagnosed with a fused spine and can no longer climb ladders or bend. You visit your local Jobcentre Plus to claim incapacity benefit. Do you deserve it?

2. You lost your zero-hours position two weeks ago, since which you have applied for more than 400 jobs and begin a new job next week. You are claiming housing benefit to cover this 21-day period. Do you deserve it?

3. You have moved in with your 85-year-old grandparent to be their full-time carer, hoping to receive carer’s allowance. Do you deserve it?

4. Any other type of situation however good or bad.

ANSWERS:

1. You DO NOT deserve incapacity benefit because you were able to transport yourself to the Jobcentre Plus. If you had not, you would have been sanctioned for not going.

2. You DO NOT deserve housing benefit. No reason. You just don’t.

3. You DO NOT deserve carer’s allowance because records show your house has rooms in it.

4. You DO NOT deserve income support because you failed to attend an appointment you were notified of in a letter to an address which you have never lived at. It is your responsibility to monitor all UK addresses in case we decide to send you a letter to one of them.

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