'Bring back British hand swearing'

22-02-12

THE traditional British V-sign is being undermined by the transatlantic ‘middle finger’ type of hand abuse, it has been claimed.

Take that, foreigners!

The assertion comes after singer Adele used the American ‘middle finger’ or ‘central digit’ gesture to upbraid producers of the 2012 Brit Awards.

Etiquette expert Emma Bradford said: “The V-sign is as quintessentially British as PG Wodehouse playing croquet with a tea-sipping bulldog on a late summer’s day, yet it is in danger of being lost forever.

“There is no more elegant way to express such sentiments as ‘up yours’, ‘fuck you’ or ‘I’m going to get out and chin you at the next set of lights, you piece of shit’.

“The V-sign dates from Norman times, when it was a ribald display by British archers to show the French that they still had their bow fingers, which would have been severed were they captured.

“Yes, I know – insulting the French. How good is that?”

“The ‘middle digit’, by contrast, is a dreadful thing of vague American provenance. Probably something to do with burgers, or Elvis.

“How dreadfully ironic that it should be used at an event styling itself as ‘the Brits’.”

Adele has since apologised to hand swearing traditionalists.

She said: “I have utmost respect for my country’s hand gesture heritage. Sometimes, when driving, I even do that dated ‘dickhead’ thing where you raise a fist to your forehead and pump it up and down in an arc.”

 

 

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