Britain hoping ‘spornosexual’ just goes away

BRITAIN is studiously ignoring the term ‘spornosexual’ in the hope that it won’t become a real thing.

Do not look at this picture

Do not look at this picture

The word, which refers to the kind of muscled voids who appear on reality TV, is currently trying to insinuate its way into the nation’s consciousness.

Sociologist Dr Mary Fisher said: “Concepts like ‘spornosexual’ are best compared to extra-dimensional monsters that feed on our belief.

“The more actual people use the term, the more hosts it is passed to, the more brains it consumes and the stronger it becomes.

“It happened with metrosexual but, perhaps having learned from their mistake, the British public refused to give ‘vajazzling’ headroom and it died like the transparent bullshit it was.”

Julian Cook, of Leatherhead, said: “I pretended I hadn’t seen it in the Telegraph. I blocked everyone using it ironically on Twitter.

“But then my mate Jason, drunk at a barbecue, started calling everyone spornosexual for a laugh and it managed to lodge itself in my mind.

“It’s in me now. I can feel if flexing about, waiting for its opportunity to strike.

“I have to die. It’s the only way to stop it.”