Britain Looks To Next Generation Of Insurance Fraudsters

BRITAIN was last night pinning its hopes on the next generation of fraudsters, after the latest failure to con a large financial institution with a fake death scam.

Vietnam is achingly beautiful and splendidly corrupt

As John and Anne Darwin were jailed for six and a half years, millions of Briton were asking who would pick up the torch and finally succeed in quitting the rat race with a million pounds, a first class ticket and a false beard.

Tom Logan, an insurance fraud consultant, said: "The Darwin plan had a lot going for it. I loved the battered canoe and secret bedsit. And of course the choice of Panama was a classic.

"It's just a shame they were such a pair of complete of fucking idiots.

"But what they have done is provide a road map for the next generation of insurance fraudsters. It's a map that says 'do not go this way, it is the wrong way'."

Mr Logan said being lost at sea, or the jungle, remained the best starting point, though would-be fraudsters should now look for a country that is not 'pernickety' about visas, but still has a decent standard of living.

"I suspect Vietnam will be the new Panama of fake death scam hideouts."

He added: "Some say insurance fraud is a victimless crime but I say no – the victims are actually vast, soulless corporations that would gleefully sell you to Chinese pirates for 20p.

"There are victims, and they fucking deserve it."