Broken dreamcatcher floods Swindon with unresolved anxieties

AN overloaded dreamcatcher has released a torrent of nagging anxieties and unsettling erotic scenarios.

The dreams stick to the feathers

The dreams stick to the feathers

The dreamcatcher, property of Swindon housewife Mary Fisher, reached capacity during a dream about walking in the Andes with her niece, an obscure acquaintance from primary school and Simon Le Bon.

The emergency services were called after a neighbour reported being chased by a shadowy figure who walked slowly but always seemed to be right behind her.

Firefighters are attempting to clear the flood of nagging anxieties while struggling with the sensation that they’re late for an important job interview.

Dreamcatcher expert Tom Booker said: “This is a warning to those who deny the dreamcatcher is a highly advanced piece of technology which works exactly as promised.

“Miss Williams’s dreamcatcher should have been serviced every 18 months by a qualified Chippewa technician to drain her psychic effluvia.”