Brown To Flood Streets With 100,000 Crazed Thugs
GORDON Brown is to tackle violent crime by identifying the country's worst families and forcing them to live on the streets.
The prime minister believes Britain's most anti-social maniacs will only become law-abiding, productive members of society once they are both unemployed and homeless.
A Downing Street spokesman said: "At first they will roam around town centres, terrorising the local population and robbing people at knifepoint.
"But eventually these feral gangs will take over the Asda car park and set up a Mad Max style community, governed by a deranged tyrant with a Mohican.
"Each day at sunset they will launch terrifying raids on the local population, stealing food, petrol and women.
"For entertainment they will round-up able-bodied men and make them fight to the death in a ramshackle arena, while they rev the engines of their huge motorcycles and howl at the moon."
He added: "There is a danger they will become so powerful that they take over the local council and are therefore able to move back into their old house, but we believe that can be prevented if every community clubs together and hires a road warrior."
Meanwhile the government last night backtracked on plans to take knife carrying youths on educational visits to spoon factories after everyone said it was a terrible idea.