CAKE is not as good as everyone says it is.
Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that despite the hype, all cakes are pretty much the same.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Britain exists in a perpetual cake frenzy, and is now a baking-based economy.
“However cake isn’t actually that great, really it is just a type of sugary bread livened up with extras like icing or raisins.
“You even need a drink with cake so that it doesn’t stick in your throat. And it is absurdly fattening.
“A decent bread and butter pudding hands-down beats the shit out of any cake ever made.”
However cake fan Emma Bradford said: “Cake is pretty much the only thing I emotionally respond to. The main aim of my life is acquiring cake and consuming it.
“I can watch news footage of death and destruction with complete impassivity, yet be moved to tears by a nice creamy cake with all bits of chocolate on it.
“Therefore either cake is amazing or there is something badly awry with my psychological make-up.
“There is also the possibility that I am just a greedy fucker.”