Check Your Privilege 'obviously a colossal pile of twat'

05-06-13

THE requirement to ‘Check Your Privilege’ before saying anything is one of the most obviously toss-ridden things yet, experts have confirmed.

'Where would sir like to express his opinions today?'

‘And where would sir like to voice his opinions today?’

The concept, invented by the same people who think Hugo Chavez was an absolute delight, requires that before you express an opinion you ask yourself whether you have a right to do so.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Jesus fucking Christ on a bike.”

According to the Guardian’s Guide to Privilege Checking, the concept is the latest funky, hi-tech way to shut down opinions you dislike without making it too obvious that is exactly what you are up to.

Julian Cook, professor of embarrassing undergraduate ideas at Roehampton University, said: “The Guardian is now just a student newspaper run by angry but enthusiastic 19 year-olds.

“Perhaps when Alan Rubsbridger graduates he’ll go on to a successful career in journalism and one day may even edit a proper newspaper, like the Wolverhampton Express and Star.”

Tom Logan, an opinion-haver from Stevenage, said: “If someone doesn’t know what they’re talking about I would tend to say something like ‘what the fuck would you know?’ or ‘you’re talking out of your arse’.

“‘Check Your Privilege’ is obviously an attempt to replace those perfectly good phrases with the sort of trite self-importance that appeals to left-wing Twitter-Thugs.”

Logan added: “That said, I fully realise I am not the same as the people who want me to check my privilege. Therefore, I have now checked my privilege, in relation to them, and continue to believe that they are an utter fucking nightmare.

“And because I have checked my privilege, I assume that means my opinion is even more valid.”

“Thank you Privilege Checkers!”

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