Couple ‘makes £100k’ selling house only to realise they have to buy another one

A COUPLE who made a large profit on their house have realised they now need to buy another one that is equally expensive.

Bath-based money-obsessed dickheads Julian Cook and Mary Fisher recently sold their terraced house for £104k more than they paid for it in 2009.

However the fucking idiots later realised this was largely irrelevant unless they want to be homeless.

Cook said: “We were like ‘a hundred grand, get in!’, I bought a fancy car then we put in a call to our cocaine dealer for a big bag of beak.

“Then Mary pointed out that we didn’t actually have anywhere to sleep that night, because we’d sold our house. What a let-down!”

Fisher said: “We’d been boasting about our massive windfall, until we looked at other houses and realised that they, too, had become dramatically more expensive.

“It’s almost as if the whole house price thing is a massive load of bullshit designed to dupe simple-minded fools who see everything as a commodity.”