Everyone admits to being a creepy bastard


EVERYONE in Britain has finally admitted to having a ghoulish fascination with serial killers, Nazis and disfigurement.

Geoff and Sally settle down for another Channel Four corpse marathon

Geoff and Sarah settle down for another Channel Four corpse marathon

People have decided to stop pretending that books and TV shows about disturbing subjects are educational or informative, and just admit they like horrific things.

Nikki Hollis, from Stevenage, said: “In the evening I like to relax with a documentary about serial killers or someone who’s cut their face off with a chainsaw.

“Murdered prostitutes, horrific injuries, close-ups of surgery – there isn’t much that puts me off my M&S ready meal. In fact my ultimate TV show would be a serial killer having surgery for horrific injuries.

“And I do prefer cop dramas that start off with a charred body being dissected in a morgue or the discovery of a severed limb covered in maggots .

“Does that make me weird? Frankly, yes, it does. But I’ve decided to run with it and embrace my inner ghoul.”

Tom Logan, from Guildford, said: “I used to say I’d got loads of books about the Nazis because I’m interested in history. But I haven’t got any history books that aren’t about the Nazis.

“I don’t like history, I just like the Nazis because they were massively evil and had cool tanks.”

Psychologist Donna Sheridan said: “An interest in extreme subjects is a normal response to the mundanity of everyday life, unless you’ve got a load of severed heads under your sink.

“In fact it’s healthy to accept we have a voyeuristic side, as I will be doing tonight with a nice glass of wine and Channel 4’s The Man Whose Penis Was A Tumour.”

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