Everyone Now Has Great Hair

EVERYONE'S hair is now shiny, manageable and full of body, the United Nations has confirmed.

Wow! Fantastic!

Julian Cook, a maths teacher from Croydon, England, finally gave in at 3pm last Wednesday and purchased a bottle of Adsa own brand two-in-one shampoo and conditioner with sea kelp extract.

Mr Cook told officials that by Friday morning the shiny manageablity of his hair had been acknowledged by friends, colleagues and even strangers on the bus.

A UN spokesman said: "It does not have sleekness of Kate Middleton or the manageability of Selina Scott, but it's a start." 

Experts say the Cook conversion is a major milestone in the United Nation's Hair First programme.

Sir Denys Finch Hatton, former British ambassador to Germany and now an adviser to the UN's Great Hair Directorate, said: "The fact that he went for a sea kelp extract shows he means business.

"If he had simply opted for a bottle of Head and Shoulders or Timotei, then you could argue that it was an impulse buy from someone under pressure who was not really committed to really great hair."

Sir Denys said the challenge now was to keep hair great with new research into natural plant extracts and extra funding for bodies such as Loreal University and the Schwarzkopf Institute.