Fresher gets free condom that will stay in his wallet for next three years

19-09-17

A FRESHER has been given a free condom that will stay in his pocket throughout university.

18 year-old Wayne Hayes got the free contraceptive from a stall at his university’s Fresher’s Fair promoting safer sex, and does not realise that he will have the condom until it finally perishes.

Hayes said: “It’s really important to stay protected, especially as I expect to have quite a lot of sexual intercourse with women.

“I’m studying engineering and my main interests are role-playing games and manga, so I’ll probably meet lots of attractive like-minded girls in social clubs related to those activities.

“I’ve not actually had sex yet but I know about it from the internet. Apparently it’s great.”

Hayes, who will leave university in 2020 with his virginity fully intact, said: “As soon as I am confident enough to make eye contact with girls, I am going to start sowing my wild oats.

“That’s why it’s good to get a free condom, because otherwise I would probably be spending all my money on them and have nothing left for food.”

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