Friend selfishly having birthday drinks in his bit of London

20-04-17

A FRIEND is celebrating his birthday near his flat in Stoke Newington, despite it being miles from where everyone else lives. 

Tom Logan has invited everyone for birthday drinks in a nice little bar within walking distance of his home and a mere three buses away from his friends’ homes, and on a weeknight too.

He said: “34 isn’t a big birthday so I thought I’d do something low-key like get six people to travel an aggregate 448 miles, here and back, to watch me eat a mushroom risotto.

“This bar’s super convenient for anyone who, like me, lives in or near Stoke Newington so can stay until closing and still get a full night’s sleep.

“There are night buses. It’s not my fault you live in Streatham.”

Logan added that he might go on somewhere afterwards but warned that he had to be at work in the morning, as though he were the only man in the city with a job.

Friend Helen Archer said: “And he expects a present, like the greedy self-centred North London bastard he is.”

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