General public rude, stupid and intensely irritating

THE public are idiots, people who serve them have observed.

Absolutely never right

Absolutely never right

Research by the Institute for Studies found the maxim ‘the customer is always right’ to be entirely inaccurate.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Britain is a service economy, so we decided to ask servers whether they found the general populace to be rude or stupid.

“Our findings show the public to be rude and stupid, to a degree which cannot be overestimated.

“You are just horrible.”

Department store assistant Nikki Hollis said: “You wouldn’t believe the number of times I’ve found people trying to put on a pair of trousers like it was a jumper. Then when I explain to that the garment should be going on their lower body they call me a bitch.

“I don’t want to be a human any more, I hate our species. Why wasn’t I born a dog or a monkey?”

Waiter Tom Booker said: “So many customers deliberately drop cutlery on the floor just to make me pick it up.

“Even worse are the ones who talk to me in a kind, pitying voice and saying things like ‘I used to do your job once, I know how hard it is’.

“Basically you cannot work with the public and not hate the public.”