Graduates forced to take jobs that match their skills

‘UNIVERSITY’ graduates are increasingly having to take unskilled jobs commensurate with their lack of ability.

But can a Chinese chemistry graduate do this?

Figures from the Office for National Statistics show that the average wage for someone with a British university degree has fallen to pretty much where it should be.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute For Studies, said: “The fact that 20% of new graduates are unemployed says less about the current job market and more about the age-old problem of fucknuts.

“Nevertheless our higher education system continues to do its job of producing people who can round-up shopping trollies without supervision.”

The study showed that the best paid graduates were those with degrees in medicine, dentistry and other things that actually need to be done.

Meanwhile, trade unions have demanded a halt to graduates taking unskilled jobs, insisting they do not want to represent people who are even worse than public sector workers.

Holly Turnbull, a 2:1 from Roehampton University, said: “I had some nebulous plan that my degree in Heaven 17 would translate into a six-figure income but all I have to show for it is a heartbreakingly predictable tattoo.

“I was explaining this the other day to an old friend I sneered at for leaving school at 16 to become a plumber. But he just jumped into his Audi while asking if I would like to clean his bogs.

“He has seven of them.”