It's actually not that big a deal, everyone tells Bolt


RUNNING very fast is not that impressive, Usain Bolt has been reminded.

Actually difficult

As the double Olympic sprint champion declared himself better than chips stuffed with mayonnaise, millions suggested he might want to try composing a symphony.

Bill McKay, from Peterborough, said: “Running very fast is quite good, but it’s not exactly Beethoven’s Ninth.

“That took fucking ages. And he had to learn how to play the piano first.

“I’m basically an idiot, but I reckon that learning a musical instrument is more difficult than learning how to run faster than someone else.

“Athletics is just moving your feet. Any moron can do that.”

Helen Archer, from Stevenage, added: “Usain Bolt just ‘practices’ running every day and, one assumes, eats a lot of macaroni and stays off the tabs.

“The Pope should commission a new ceiling from him. Let’s see what that does to his ego.

“Once he’s finished, perhaps he could point at it in his trademark style.”

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “We’ve comprehensively devalued the word ‘genius’ so we may as well do the same to ‘legend’.

“We’re all geniuses, we’re all legends, we’re all so terribly fucking special.”



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