Large Breasted Women Get It All Their Own Way Again
WOMEN with huge bazongas were last night getting it all their own way, yet again.
As Marks and Spencer agreed to reduce the cost of its freakishly large bras, normally breasted ladies said they would be forced to pay unnecessarily high prices to subsidise the over-bosomed.
Elizabeth Gerving, a 32C, said: “I don’t see why they shouldn’t pay a couple of quid more given the extra fabric that’s required to cover their big, daft knockers.”
She added: “We believe bra-pricing should be based on square footage and overall circumference. Some of these monsters can contain up to 12 yards of copper wire.”
Meanwhile it emerged that M&S chief executive Sir Stuart Rose surrendered after chesty campaigner Becky Williams bent over his desk while wearing a low-cut top that left little to the imagination.
Williams revealed: “I walked into his office, leaned over and said: ‘Mr Rose, I do hope you can help me; you see, I’m a single mum who’s struggling to support her two lovely twins’.
“And then I sort of squeezed them together, fluttered my lashes and went ‘mmmmmmm?’.
“He coughed and spluttered a bit, agreed to reduce the price and then led me out of the room with his hand on my arse. Worked like a charm.”
Retail analyst Tom Logan added: “So, Joanna Lumley is now in command of the Gurkhas, while women are taking to the streets to protest about their bras. Is it just me, or is Britain turning into Carry On Up the Khyber?”