‘Liberal elite’ is anyone who has voluntarily read a book

THE ‘liberal elite’ consists of anyone who has read a book out of choice, Theresa May has confirmed.

The prime minister condemned such high-minded metropolitan snobs for their attitude towards patriotic Brexiters and their annoying refusal to just watch television.

May said: “This sneering elite already has telly, which we all love with its programmes about cakes, beaches and disfiguring skin conditions.

“But that isn’t good enough for them. They want to read books, so that they can learn long words and then use them to make you feel stupid.”

Nikki Hollis from Swindon said: “I read books but mainly thrillers about people getting kidnapped and held captive in basements. They’re stupid, not intelligent at all.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”