Man thinks anything he doesn’t understand must be easy

03-03-16

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A MAN’S simple-minded ignorance has left him convinced that everything from teaching to programming a computer is easy.

Lettings agent Wayne Hayes’ simplistic view of most things means he is frequently astonished by people claiming they are difficult or wanting to be paid more for doing them.

Hayes said: “Teachers are always saying how hard it is, but it’s just telling people stuff. Once you’ve done it for a few years you probably know all the sums off by heart anyway.

“Okay, there’s other stuff like discipline, but if I was a teacher I’d just say, ‘You’re 11 and I’m 35 so do me an essay about Hitler or I’ll kick your fucking head in.’ How hard can that be?

“Or look at films. The Revenant was good, but in principle it’s no different to me videoing my cousin’s wedding, and that came out fine apart from all the dark bits.

“Computer programming is the real con. It’s mainly typing in random numbers. You need an idea first, like ‘spreadsheets’, or ‘space’ if it’s a game.”

Other activities Hayes has failed to grasp the complexity of include flying a helicopter, running a pub and being a barrister, which he has described as “tricking people into saying they done it”.

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