Massive dickhead weirdly successful with women

15-06-17

A GROUP of office workers is genuinely puzzled by the relationship success of a total dickwad they work with, it has emerged. 

Colleagues cannot comprehend how sales executive Tom Booker consistently attracts girlfriends despite his seemingly female-unfriendly interests of cars, Maxim magazine and fart-related humour.

Co-worker Emma Bradford said: “He once talked to me for 15 minutes about his new tyres without noticing I’d put my earphones in.

“Weirdly though I quite like him, even though I hate myself for it. Maybe it’s a masochistic thing.”

Fellow colleague Martin Bishop said: “My theory was that Tom behaves totally differently in front of women he wants to impress, but I’ve seen him trying to chat someone up by asking ‘What’s your best Top Gear episode?’.

“Also his sense of humour exclusively involves farts. If you find the expressions ‘silent but violent’ or ‘letting off an eggy one’ completely hilarious he’s your dream date.

“I guess his appeal is one of those unsolved mysteries of life, like the Bermuda Triangle or how they built those Inca temples.”

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