Maths impossible


BRITAIN’S poor numeracy is the fault of maths for being so hard, experts have claimed.

It just doesn't make any sense

Researchers at the Institute for Studies believe that the reason almost 50% of the UK cannot add up is that maths is way too difficult.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “It’s easy to point the finger at individuals or the education system, but the real problem is with maths itself.

“It’s like a foreign language or something. Seriously, have you tried it lately?

“Go and attempt a sum. I guarantee you will give up.”

He added: “The most straightforward ‘solution’ – if I may use a maths-y word –  is to ban maths altogether, then no-one would have to feel bad.”

Housewife Nikki Hollis said: “I think if we stopped maths it may have some negative effects that I don’t entirely understand, but the pluses – sorry ‘good points’ – would outweigh them.”

Estate agent Roy Hobbs said: “Like most people I am not interesting in learning, but I do want to feel good about myself.

“A maths-free world would be a happier place. No-one would have to feel bad about not being able to do it, and no one would get bullied for being good at it.”

He added: “The only good thing about maths is that bird on Countdown. I’d happily put my Pythagoras in her theorem.”



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