Mother’s unconditional love means you don’t need to get her anything good

YOUR mother’s love for you is unbreakable and so you do not have to spend a lot this Sunday, experts have confirmed.

What a waste of money

The Institute for Studies has advised Mothering Sunday gift-buyers that maternal love is different from other types of love in that you do not need to make any effort whatsoever.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “The emotional bond between mother and offspring is the strongest thing on earth, a million times more durable than the strongest steel. You are part of her, she is part of you. The mother will always cherish and protect her child above all things.

“Exploit this.

“Just get her a generic newsagent-style card with a flower or something on it and the same chocolates you always get her. Probably Milk Tray or Terry’s All Gold, something in the £5 to £10 price range.

“Besides being pointless, if you go overboard it could be seen as a bit, well, Oedipal. Like you fancy her or something.”

He added:”Same goes for your mum’s birthday.”

Mother Nikki Hollis said: “My ideal Mothering Sunday present would be to get my shattered dreams back.

“But I’ll make do with a cheap, chocolate selection box with a heavy emphasis on soft centres.”