'Mum hair' actually designed to ward off men
MIDDLE-AGED mothers get that ‘interesting’ short haircut so men will leave them alone, it has emerged.
As Mothers’ Day focuses attention on mum habits, mothers confirmed there’s a reason why they got that haircut everyone pretends to like.
49-year-old mum Mary Fisher said: “I’m not an idiot, I am fully aware that my hair is now identical to that of a dinner lady.
“Clearly you all thought I’d lost it because of hormones.
“Actually I just wanted divorced men to stop hitting on me in the supermarket. I think this sends out a pretty strong signal.
“To hell with all this ‘Milf’ nonsense, I’ve worked hard and now I want to sit around reading Rose Tremain books without anyone trying to fuck me.”
The inevitable short haircut, which is commonly described as ‘nifty’, ‘different’ or ‘youthful-looking’, typically happens to mums at around the time they get really into gardening.
54-year-old Emma Bradford said: “It’s like the female equivalent of disappearing into a shed.
“Once we’ve made the decision, us mums go to the hairdresser, nod grimly and say ‘do it’.
“It’s a big deal, almost like a tribal rite of passage. Once you’ve got ‘mum hair’ there’s no turning back.”