Office bitch sweating like a navvy
BRITAIN was today enjoying the sight of the bitch in their office sweating like a filthy pig on heat.
Across the country, arrogant, self-assured women who never put a foot wrong are set to be brought down to the same level as ordinary scum like you.
With southern England set to be hotter than a cup of tea, office workers are relishing the thought of that smarmy cow dripping like a fat, hairy builder.
Emma Bradford, from Finsbury Park, said: “There is nothing more satisfying than seeing someone who thinks they’re better than you getting uncomfortably moist.
“And even though I have to sit across from her, I hope she fucking stinks.”
And as beads of sweat begin their epic journeys towards millions of defenceless buttock clefts, overweight man Bill McKay unveiled plans to take his shirt off in the park.
He said: “I know how keen people are to see my naked torso, especially my lovely breasts.
“So not only am I going to take my shirt off, I am going to parade around the park for my entire lunch hour so that as many people as possible can enjoy their sandwiches while gazing wistfully at my glistening folds.
“And I won’t hear a word of thanks, as it is my absolute pleasure.”