Olympics to feature 24-hour Sunday looting
SHOPS will be available for looting during the Olympics 24 hours a day, including Sundays.
The government will this week pass a temporary amendment to Britain’s Sunday looting laws to guarantee shopping precincts in every major town and city are completely ransacked seven days a week.
Ministers also want to ensure London can cater for the combined frustrations of an especially vindictive tube strike and the seemingly unremitting tedium of the Olympic games.
A spokesman said: “When this finally boils over into a orgy of greedy violence it’s important everyone gets a chance to steal something from Currys.
“People who do not like the Olympics should be able to steal themselves a better TV on which to not watch it.”
The legislation will effectively ban chief constables from deploying riot control all day Sunday. The spokesman added: “During last year’s riots the police did not appear until the Sunday. It felt very old fashioned.”
But pressure groups claim the move will further undermine British society, insisting that Sunday is a day for stealing things from churches.
And critics also insisted the legislation is unnecessary as every constable in the UK will probably spend the entire Olympics policing the dressage in a field near Swindon.
Meanwhile, some Christians said they will refuse to loot on a Sunday, following the example of Eric Liddell, the hero of Chariots on Fire.