Parents find their children equally unfavourable

PARENTS have denied having a ‘favourite’ child, claiming to find all their offspring equally hard to tolerate.

Not even sure which one's which

Not even sure which one’s which

New research has claimed that a third of parents favour one of their children, prompting child owners to deny being particularly keen on any of the little shits.

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “My youngest likes to do murals on the living room wall using faeces and Ribena, which is remarkably rank.

“But her ten-year-old brother chases the cat with a fork and calls me ‘witch face’.

“Sometimes I must admit that one gets on my tits more than the other, but you can’t treat them like that because you’ll screw them up.

“In my eyes they are both little gobshites, with their own unique annoying qualities.”

Father-of-three Roy Hobbs said: “To me they’re just big three-headed nightmares, like a tiny hydra that pukes a lot and fights itself.”