Religious belief linked to being a bit dim


PEOPLE who describe themselves as religious may also be a bit thick, according to new research.

Most religious people would believe you if you told them God was this chicken

As a study found that atheists know more about religion than religious people, experts said that in all fairness that should not really count as news and it was actually rather cruel to ask them complicated questions of that nature.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Are you religious because you’re stupid or does being religious make you stupid? It’s the classic chicken and egg scenario.

“For any religious people who may be reading this, a chicken is a domesticated bird, roughly the size of a football while an egg is the small, beige oval thing that comes out of it and then goes into your tummy – probably in the form of mayonnaise.

“You think all three were made by a character you know as God, Jehovah, Allah, Brahma or L. Ron Hubbard.”

According to the study, Jews and Mormons were the least stupid believers, mainly because of all the money and the wives, while Southern US Baptists had to have the questions explained to them using bits of fruit.

Most protestants believe their church was founded by Space 1999 actor Martin Landau, while many Roman Catholics thought that holy communion symbolised St Peter’s fondness for Vimto and ready salted Pringles.

Meanwhile, only half of those surveyed could identify the Koran as being the holy book of Islam, while the other half said that whatever it was they were terrified of it and wanted to shoot it in the face.


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