SCHOOL LEAVERS TO PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO SOME OLD COW

SCHOOL leavers will be forced to swear allegiance to some stinking old cow even though they have never even met her or nothing.

What are you, like 500 years-old or something?

The government has totally got this plan, right, to make teenagers go into this big room and say all these nice things about this totally minging old bird.

Then the teenagers, right, will have to say how great it is being British and all that, and totally promise not to behave like arseholes all the time.

But the teachers, right - get this - the teachers are totally saying it's all bollocks. They're saying 'no way, man, that's like total shit'.

They're saying that the teenagers shouldn't have to do nothing, if it's like totally against their feelings and shit. And that's the teachers, right?

It's all supposed to make the teenagers feel like they are all like totally grown up and serious like.

It's like, 'look at me, I've got a job and I'm dressed all nice and I'm like totally the same as everyone else'.

And get this, right, they also want to change the national anthem and that, and take out all that stuff about the Scottish. The Scottish right? Are they even English?

The whole thing is like totally controversial.

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