HARD-working families are not the only ones who deserve tax cuts, according to single people who do barely enough to get by.
As chancellor Alistair Darling put the finishing touches to his pre-Budget report, millions of lazy underachievers insisted they would spend the money on X-Boxes and shit.
Tom Logan, a trainee solicitor on his first written warning, said: "As someone who doesn't really care about anything other than spending money, I'm the chancellor's most vivid wet dream.
"The last thing you want is to give the money to some sensible middle-class couple in their late thirties who are at their desks by half-eight and pay attention during meetings.
"All they'll do is pay down their overdrafts, put it in some child trust fund or buy pointless, VAT-free goods like baby food and romper suits.
"On the other hand if you give the cash to me, I'll buy booze, fags, a big telly and an emergency iPod.
"And then I'll take Friday afternoon off 'cause my gran's dead. Again."
Meanwhile the Conservatives have backed the chancellor's plan to give generous tax breaks to low income families who don't vote.
