So we meet again, Southern tells commuters

01-05-15

Southern trains complaints

SOUTHERN trains has admitted its passengers are ‘resilient bastards’ who do not know when they are beaten.

Thousands of commuters shrugged off yesterday’s vicious pummeling by the train company and turned up at their local stations this morning, bloodied but unbowed, hoping to somehow get to work.

Southern chief executive, Charles Augustus Milverton, said: “So we meet again.

“I have to hand it to you, you’ve got guts. There are even times when I wonder what it would be like if we were on the same side.

“But then I remember how sentimental you are about each other. Your humanity is your weakness.”

Milverton added: “You do know you can’t win. Even if you all join together I will still defeat you because I control the trains and the trains are life.

“All I have to do is press this shiny red button and your world falls apart.

“But let’s play our game for a little longer, shall we? I do find it rather stimulating.”

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